How should one shake hands? It should be a firm handshake and the whole hand should grasp the other hand, meaning that the web between your thumb and your pointer finger should meet the other persons. In...
In traditional social etiquette, when two people meet, the person with the higher rank gets to choose whether or not to shake hands. Judith Martin, in Miss Manners' Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior, writes that "the higher-ranking person-socially this means women before men, except in the case of presidents, kings, or popes, and the greater age and more exalted positions before the younger and less significant-either sticks out a hand or doesn't." The lower-ranking person shouldn't be the one to initiate the handshake. But if that should happen, Miss Manners says to go ahead and shake anyway. "The worst error is to pass by a hand that has been extended, however erroneously."
The etiquette that applies to job interviews is a bit different from social etiquette. Robin Thompson, owner of Etiquette Network and the Robin Thompson Charm School, says that if you are on a job interview, "You should wait until the interviewer extends his or her hand first. That's just being polite." She says that "people get a very strong impression from your handshake, so it should be a firm handshake and should last maybe five seconds. Your whole hand should grasp the interviewer's hand, meaning that the web between your thumb and your pointer finger should meet the other person's. It should be a full handshake, but not bone crunching. You don't want to hurt the other person, but you also don't want your handshake to be wimpy. You also shouldn't extend your hand while you are still across the room and start running across the room with your hand stuck out. You should just walk up politely, stop, and shake hands while making eye contact, smiling, and being conscious of your posture.
"Should a woman shake hands? Definitely!" Thompson says. "In business nowadays, we don't make a distinction based on sex. Socially, yes, it's nice to perform common courtesies, but in business, women should be treated as equals and women should shake hands. A lot of men think this is a gray area because they were brought up to be respectful and courteous to a woman, and not shake a woman's hand until the woman offers hers, and so forth. In business, preference is given to rank. So if the CEO is a man, and the woman is a junior, then he should extend his hand first."
How firm should a man's handshake be when he is shaking hands with a woman? Is it possible for a man's handshake to be too firm? On the other hand, if a man doesn't shake firmly enough, will he appear to be weak? Miss Manners points out that "many ladies wear rings on their right hands, and many of these rings have stones in them. In the area between seeming wishy-washy and slicing off a lady's finger at the knuckle with her own diamond, Miss Manners would rather a gentleman erred toward the wishy-washy. However, it should not be difficult for a gentleman of ordinary digital and manual sensitivity to adjust his handshake in response to the strength of a lady's."
