Siblings, Bedrooms & Privacy: Learning To Share

Siblings' bedooms, privacy & sharing are causing problems? Read this article to find out how to change this.

Are your children perhaps sharing a bedroom or perhaps they have separate bedrooms and still are having problems? Perhaps my thoughts on this subject will help. Naturally children are going to fuss especially if they live in the same room with separate beds, dressers, etc. this is normal.

First of all let's discuss problems when they share a bedroom.

Are your children just constantly fighting since they live in the same bedroom even with each child having his own space, bed, dresser, toys, etc. and they are pestering you with these problems? When you think about it each child does need a separate private place for themselves but sometimes having his or her own room just isn't possible in your home. First of all I would suggest hanging a schedule on the door: allow each child to have a certain amount of time during the day in the bedroom alone and do not let the other child knock on the door and instill in the child out of the room that he is to respect the other's privacy during the time allotted to the other person. Then if the child not in the private time in the room doesn't respect this privacy then take away from his time and add to the one in the room. Once the time is taken from one child and given to the other a few times then I will imagine a little respect will occur.

You can take even the smallest room and convert it into several smaller private spaces. Also you would have a neutral zone where both could enter.

This would be extra work and let us hope it isn't necessary but leave it as a last resort option.

Siblings seem to thrive in a love/hate relationship and we sure know this already, even when they have been taught to share their entire lives, and there will be problems with sharing.

I think if you were to sit down with the children and create a list of rules about their bedrooms it might help. Let them know what will happen if the fighting and fussing does continue: it could result in time outs or taking away of privileges depending on the age of the children. One rule would be to not borrow without asking. Let the children use poster boards and write the rules on them in either separate bedrooms or if they live in one bedroom.

Tell them also if you hear them fighting a certain number of times that you will have to instill those rules and if they will not get alone in the case that they have separate rooms, tell them you will put them in the same room and use

that spare room for yourself, that will really worry each of them. Then you will hear one of them saying, 'we need to get along or this will be a sewing room.'

I hope my suggestions will help you along on the road to having these children get along, but always realize this is normal in most homes.

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