Spouse Relocation: Buying Your First Family House Together

Spouse relocation: There's nothing like shopping for your first house with your new spouse, and a few simple ideas will make the process a lot easier.

There's nothing like shopping for your first house with your new spouse, and a few simple ideas will make the process a lot easier. If you have never bought a house before and you have never bought a house with your spouse, you will certainly have full plate.

Buying a house in and of itself is quite a prospect, but adding a new marriage or simply a first house purchase within a marriage definitely adds challenges to the process. The important thing is to remember to enjoy the process, even though it might be stressful at times.

The following are a few simple ideas that might make the process a little simpler and to help minimize some of the stress that typically can go along with purchasing a first home. You might want to try any or all of the suggestions, and certainly try to be open to other suggestions from other resources as well.



- Find a mentor or mentors. Find someone you can trust who has experience buying homes and ask this person to help you with questions you might have along the way. You might consider a parent, a friend, a counselor, a co-worker, a fellow church or synagogue member, or any other person whom you like and respect. Just when you think there is too much stress on your plate, a helping hand from your so-called mentor might lighten the load.

- Do your research before you begin. There are two main components to this research. First and foremost, discuss with your spouse what you both feel you might like to buy. Talk about every aspect of this purchase, from your dreams to reality, from the financial and practical to future considerations and expectations. You will want to explore together where you might have differing desires, as well as what you can find in common. Agree on a general idea of what you think might meet your needs and desires, and be prepared along the way to open your hearts and minds to other possibilities as well. It is hard to outright plan the exact purchase of a house, as you simply cannot know all the possibilities out there until you begin the process. The second part of the research process is to research how to undergo a process like this. Read books on home buying, read magazine articles on real estate agents, read the newspaper's special sections on real estate, houses and homes, and visit websites on real estate agencies, specific homes, new developments, new areas, etc. The more initial research you do, the more prepared you will be. The key to this part of the research is that you will know what questions to ask, what to look out for, and what to expect along the way to purchasing your first house.

- The third main suggestion is to begin the process. Make sure to take breaks along the way. Do not become so serious in your house hunt that you forget about taking care of your marriage and your family. House hunting can be very time and energy-consuming, and you need to conserve this energy for what can be a long process. Perhaps you want to consider a weekend away during the process, or a camping trip at a nearby park, renting videos for a fun-filled Sunday, or taking yourselves out to your favorite restaurant. Do not talk only about buying a house, or you will soon find that buying a house has taken over your life! Remember that this is a process, so you don't want to run yourself ragged before the process is over.

There are many other practical suggestions for buying your first home, and these suggestions are merely some among the many. These suggestions are specifically focused on those buying their first home within a marriage because there can be added challenges to this process. For instance, you might find out more about your spouse than you wanted to know so quickly! Or, you might find that your expectations in buying a home show some differences in your personalitites where you did not see them before. Buying a home can be stressful, and you might also find there is a bit more stress placed on your marriage.

For these reasons, it is important to take good care of yourselves and to not do this process alone. Let your loved ones support you, and reach out for all the research and support you need along the way.

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