Being a step parent is can be difficult. Here are some tips on being a stepdad. Always be flexable, and supportive of your wife, able to find a mentor, and remember that the marriage will survive.
The role of Stepdad is one of the most treacherous and heart-rending of all callings.
Whatever preconceived notions you may have must be disgarded immediately. This role will require nothing less than your complete pouring out of heart and soul into a child that believes you are the Antichrist.
There are a few guidelines that will assist you in your quest.
#1. The Rules will change every day. If something is successful on Monday, it is guaranteed not to work on Tuesday. Each day will require you opportunities to demonstrate your understanding and flexability. If you are blessed enough to have a teenage Stepdaughter, the rules will change on a minute to minute basis. Often she will wait to see your response before determining her own opinion. This observation time will insure that she differs with you on everything from the length of her phone calls to the shade of purple that she dyes her hair.
#2. Always support your wife in front of the kids. If the kids can divide you and your wife, they will conquer your marriage. Your wife will be torn between her obligation to her flesh and blood and her undying love for you. A word to the wise is that this is best understood and not actually tested by fire. Hammer out issues with your wife behind closed doors.
#3. Your not alone. There are millions of other Stepdads in the world that are just as confused and discouraged as you are. Never get to thinking that you are traveling where no man has gone before.
#4. Try to find a older stepdad that has survived. You will find that he not only walked where you are walking but he survived. This will give you hope and faith.
#5. You will survive. The kids will graduate and leave home. Stitch this on a sampler if that is what it takes for you to remember this. Never forget that you love your wife and that you married her, not the kids. The kids are temporary, she is permanent. Your marriage will survive!
