Communicate effectively with your child's teacher by keeping these things in mind.
Teachers are taught to emphasize the positive when they speak to parents. This is to reduce any defensive feelings that the parent might begin to feel if the conversation begins on a negative note. Teachers can also become defensive, so it is a good idea for you to follow this same tip and complement the teacher on the things that you are happy with, even if you also have a complaint. Above all, approach the conversation as an opportunity to have a productive problem-solving session, rather than an opportunity to cast blame or express anger at the school system. Chances are, your child's teacher has very little control over the system in which she works.
Be sure to make an appointment for a conference. You don't want to randomly show up and take the teacher's planning time away from her or interrupt her class. Making an appointment shows professionalism, and will give you the time that you need to address your concerns. Make sure that you have childcare for any other children that you may have during your conference time, so that you can focus solely on the conversation between you and the teacher.
Remember to tell the teacher the things that you are pleased with about the class and her methods, and then calmly bring up your concern. Listen to the teacher's feedback about the problem. She needs to feel heard as well. Take notes if necessary. If you are not satisfied with her response, let her know that the proposed solution is not something that you feel comfortable with, and that you would like to spend time exploring other options. Do not allow your concerns to be brushed to the side, if the teacher is inclined to do so. If necessary, ask for another conference, this time including a counselor or other appropriate school personnel to help problem-solve. Remember, you are your child's best advocate, and while you should listen and try to understand the school's concerns, if you feel that the school's interest is in direct conflict with your child's best interest, you must continue to press until you are confident that your child's needs are being met. If you end up in a power struggle of any sort, it can be helpful to tape-record the meeting, so that a community advocate or lawyer can help you sort things out and give you appropriate advice.
Do not to enter into power struggles, however, if they can at all be avoided. Everyone's goal should be to serve the best interest of each child they work with, and usually, if everyone keeps their calm, a workable solution can be agreed upon that meets the needs of all concerned.
Your concern may be easily worked out, or you may simply want to communicate with the teacher on an ongoing basis in order to check in and make sure that your child is not being disruptive in class, is completing his or her work, and understands the material. Most teachers welcome parental involvement, as it helps them to better understand their students while getting extra support from home. One good way to communicate regularly with the teacher, especially if your child is in middle school or high school and has multiple instructors, is to utilize email. Simply obtain the email addresses of each teacher and check in with them weekly. Do keep your emails at a reasonable length, and do not email the teacher every day, as her inbox is full each and every morning with material that she is expected to read and remember. Daily parental emails can quickly become overwhelming for a teacher.
If both parties approach communication respectfully, and with the child's best interest in mind, communication should be a breeze. However, if you find yourself dealing with a difficult individual or individuals, do not hesitate to seek an outside advocate. Only we, as citizens, parents and teachers working together, can truly shape the schools into institutions that best serve our communities, and therefore, our children.
