It's never too soon to start teaching your sons how to interact in positive ways with the opposite sex. These tips tell you how.
Most teenage boys learn what they know about girls from the media, which includes film, music, and video games. Unfortunately, the vast majority of these sources provide negative images of females and offer destructive role models for relationships.
That is why it is crucial for parents to train in sons how to get along with girls and ultimately choose a suitable life partner. Sadly, many parents are too busy or unconcerned to take this much-needed step. Here are some ways that you can guide your son on to the right path of a healthy relationship with the opposite sex:
1. Begin when they're toddlers. As odd as that sounds, parents need to set a good example and lay ground rules while children are still young. For example, as parents, let your kids see you treat one another with respect. Of course there are bound to be times of conflict and tension, but try to argue behind closed doors, and never let a disagreement stay between you beyond that day. Kids closely watch their parents and learn the most from their example. The greatest gift two parents can give a child is to love and honor each other, which showers the child with security and provides an example for that young one to follow.
2. Set healthy boundaries for adolescent kids. Make sure your son respects his sister and doesn't treat her in irresponsible or inappropriate ways. Herman Melville wrote in his story "Pierre" that a boy learns with his sister how to treat a wife. In the classroom or other public areas, be sure that your son treats girls with respect. Insist that there be no touching, fondling, or smacking, no matter what. Pleasurable touching can lead to premature intimacy, while hurtful touching can lead to violence. There will be plenty of time for hugs and kisses when the teens are older and have dealt with other pressing issues like college or a job.
3. Talk to your son frankly when he enters puberty. Discuss bodily functions and reproductive processes. Your teen should have no doubt about how their bodies work and the outcomes of responsible versus irresponsible behavior. Emphasize the value of delayed gratification, pointing out the confidence and self-satisfaction he will experience in learning to wait for fulfilling physical or emotional desire.
4. Teach him to others' needs ahead of his own. In addition to reflecting common courtesy, this principle carries over into the boy-girl relationship arena because men should learn to give their wives' needs equal or better value as their own. Starting with opening doors for the opposite sex and progressing to waiting for a girlfriend to finish college before getting married can teach the values of patience and other-centeredness, which in turn can lead to highly successful and long-lasting relationships.
5. Enlist resources. You may need to get a book or rent a low-key instructional video on some aspects of "the talk." But these should be marginal to the main ideas that you clearly share. Encourage your son to take a domestic arts class at school, which may cover topics like budgeting, cooking, and conflict resolution. Your church may offer a course of this type as well. If not, suggest that one be organized and offered.
With a 52% divorce rate, it is imperative that parents start offering home-based instruction on how young men should treat the girls they date and hope to marry. Without this knowledge, more relationships will be doomed.
