It is important that parents teach their children to be open-minded and accepting to alternative lifestyles and the people who live them.
As a parent, it is your responsibility to teach your children to be open-minded and accepting of other people and of differing lifestyle choices. While a "normal" lifestyle is still thought to be a family situation consisting of two married heterosexual parents, that situation is hardly the norm nowadays. There are so many different lifestyles and family structures in our social environment - single-parents raising children on their own, divorced parents who split custody, second marriages, two gay fathers or two lesbian mothers raising a child. These situations may have been extraordinary and unusual when you were growing up (although they certainly aren't anything new), but they are commonplace today and they are all acceptable lifestyles. Since there are so many individuals and families living "alternative" lifestyles, it is crucial that you teach your children about them. Whether your family falls under the "alternative" category or not, your child will inevitably be exposed to people who do fit that description. Homosexuality may be something that your parents never talked to you about as part of your sexual education, but you should talk about it with your kids so that they know that it is perfectly normal - just because something is different than the "norm," that doesn't mean it is wrong in any way.
ONGOING SEX EDUCATION
Sexual education isn't something that you can cover with one all inclusive "talk." If you want to raise your child to be a sexually responsible and a socially aware adult, you cannot rely on a metaphorical quasi-explanatory "birds and bees" discussion. Sex may have been something that you were raised to be nervous, shameful, and uncomfortable talking about, but you don't have to pass those ridiculous insecurities onto the next generation. The last thing that you want is for your child to be too embarrassed to talk about sexual issues with you. It may be your inclination to tell your kids that sex is bad and they should never have it - after all, surely you hope that they will wait to have sex so that they are not put at risk for teenaged pregnancy or sexually transmitted diseases. However, giving them insufficient information is only going to make them more curious about sex - and more curiosity combined with less information is a dangerous combination. When you cover the issue of how babies come into the world, clearly you will be talking about the male/ female intercourse experience in a more anatomical way than anything else. However, when you cover the areas of sexual attraction and desire, you should let them know that while it is more common for boys to be attracted to girls and vice versa, some boys are attracted to other boys and some girls to other girls. Explain to them what the term "gay" means, and talk about the fact that it is not a negative term, and it shouldn't be used as such (as many kids tend to do - and classless adults too). Explain what "lesbian" means. Talk about the fact that gay men and lesbians can nurture long-term monogamous committed relationships in just the same way that men and women do. Tell them that in fact, gay men and lesbian couples can raise healthy, loving families together just as well as heterosexual couples can. It isn't enough to just cover the logistics of sexual health and reproduction with your kids; you have to teach them about the whole spectrum of sexual development and the various lifestyles that are related to sexual identity.
TALK TO THEM ABOUT IGNORANCE
We don't live in a perfect, tolerant world by any stretch of the imagination. While acceptance of alternative lifestyles has come a long way, it certainly isn't perfect. There are many people who are bigoted and discriminatory towards those who live life not according to the norm. These narrow-minded ignoramuses often try to persuade others to share their prejudiced views, and they certainly raise their own children to be hateful and prejudiced. Unfortunately, ignorant children are likely to be in the same classrooms as your children, and you have to prepare your child for the fact that some people are very misinformed when it comes to the acceptance of alternative lifestyles. Be ready for your child to come to you with questions throughout his or her childhood and adolescence. If a child were to make a racial slur in front of a teacher, there's pretty much no way that it would go unpunished, but for some reason, when a child makes a derogatory comment about homosexuality, it often goes unmentioned and without punishment, possibly because educators are afraid to take a stand on the issue, possibly because some many adults are homophobes themselves. Whatever the reason, that just makes it doubly important that you cover the issues at home - regularly - so that you child grows up to be one of the good guys.
IMMEDIATE EXPLANATIONS
There are some alternative lifestyles that, unlike homosexuality, are a little trickier to explain to kids. For example, bondage and sadomasochism, polyamory, swinging, and fetishes are pretty uncomfortable topics to have a sit-down about. However, don't be in denial - whether you cover these subjects with you children or not, they are going to find out about them. Such topics don't belong in an introductory sex talk with young kids, but if you're child comes to you with questions, be ready to answer them in an honest way, and if you have a high-school aged kid, you should go ahead and broach the subjects with your teen. Wouldn't you rather the information come from you than from some pornographic magazine that one of your son's classmates brought to a sleepover? You don't have to advocate these lifestyles, but you should at least let your teen know that they exist and what they are. You should also let your child know that any sexual behavior should be entered into by mature, responsible adults who both consent to what is going on. By the way, you never ever have to or should tell your kids about your own sexual behavior (outside of them clearly knowing your sexual orientation) - and in all reality, they don't want to know.
