Top 10 Ways To Make A Military Marriage Work

Military marriages are very stressful because the couples have to deal with the prospect of deployment and long periods of time spent away from each other.

DO NOT ENTER BLINDLY

Marriage is stressful in even the most ideal situations, so it isn't hard to imagine that a military marriage is doubly stressful.You have to worry about last-minute deployments that could last months or longer.You have to face the reality that if you marry someone who is in the military, your life is going to revolve around the military.Your partner who is in the military is willing to risk their life for the country, even if that means that they will leave you a widow or widower.You have to be prepared to move around a lot, which can make it hard to raise a family and maintain friendships.Many military marriages end in divorce because couples are not taking the future into careful consideration before they exchange wedding vows.It is critical that both of you are committed to putting in the work necessary to make your military marriage work, despite all the challenges that you may encounter along the way.

DEALING WITH DEPLOYMENT

Deployments are certainly one of the toughest hurdles that a military couple will have to jump together.It is understandably very challenging to be separated for long periods of time, especially if the person being deployed is going into combat.Letter writing is one viable way to stay in touch with your deployed spouse.Although you may be having an emotionally hard time at home, your deployed spouse is surely suffering ten-fold, so you want your letters to provide comfort and love to get them through their deployment.You don't want to make your spouse feel guilty for being away fighting for the country.Write letters every day to keep you partner abreast to what is happening in your life, what's going on with your children (if you are parents), what is going on in town, etc.It will keep the bond strong through your separation.You should also invest in a digital camera so that you can take pictures of yourself and your family everyday.Print them out on your personal computer, and send them to your spouse along with the letters.If you have children, have them write letters too, or draw pictures, that you can send to your spouse.These mementos from home will be a source of happiness and strength for your deployed spouse.

SUPPORT GROUPS

Support groups are great way for you to share your struggles with other people who are living the same lifestyle as you are.It helps to talk to people who can understand the way you are feeling, and who have gone through similar experiences in their own marriages.



TRUST YOUR PARTNER

Trust is the most important component to any relationship, and when married couples are forced to live apart from each other for long periods of time, trust is absolutely critical.You have to believe in your partner and in your marriage so that you do not spend your time worrying that your spouse is off with some new lover during deployment.

BE SUPPORTIVE

Give your support to the military so that you have a better sense of pride in your military life.If you are active in supporting the military, you will feel more motivated to make your military marriage work.You also have to remember to be supportive of your partner, whether your partner is in the military, or you are in the military.Neither role is easier than the other.Being in the military is very stressful, and so it is easy to see why that partner would need support.However, it is equally stressful to be the partner who is at home worrying about their spouse who is in the military.

LIVE WITHIN YOUR MEANS

Being in the military is not going to make you rich.Married couples fight about money a lot, but in a military marriage, the last thing you need to do is add more stress to your life by living beyond your financial means.Make a budget and stick to it so that you don't have to add any more stress to your already heaping full plate.

MAKE A PLAN

It isn't easy to talk about the worst case scenarios in life, but it is critical that you do so, especially in a military marriage.The two of you need to have a game plan in the tragic case that someone dies.Both of you should be privy to financial responsibilities, investments, insurance, and any other major debts or bills.The last thing that you would want to do if your spouse died would be to have to frantically try to figure out your finances.

MAKE FRIENDS

Make friends with other couples who are in military marriages.Just like with support groups, it is important to have friends who know what you are going through.Also, in the case of deployment, you want to have a network of friends to reach out to.

ACCEPTANCE

If you are going to have a successful military marriage, then you have to accept that.You cannot try to convince your partner to leave the military.That will lead to constant fights, and it could potentially end your marriage.You have to accept the lifestyle that you are entering into when you marry someone in the military.

LEARN HOW TO COPE WITH STRESS

There is no shame in asking for professional help if you are having a very difficult time coping with the stresses of a military marriage.Other ways to alleviate stress include exercising, deep breathing, or talking to a friend.

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