Teen moms are shunned instead of supported. Now here's how you can welcome them.
When a woman gives birth to a baby, she is scared and uncertain no matter what age the new mom. But what happens when the new mom is practically only a child herself? How can others help be supportive while not trying to take over?
First, one needs to recognize the fact that the new teen mom is not incapable of caring for her child just because of her age. She will more than likely still feel all the same maternal instincts that new moms of any age feel. And because of these, she will be able to nurture her baby with plenty of love and care. However, it is usually the area of baby care, as in baby's needs, that a new teen mom needs help in. But she does not need to be talked down to.
When offering assistance to a teen mom, remember that unlike older moms who don't have the worry of someone thinking they can't be a good mom, these new moms need to be treated the same. One wouldn't try to help an older mom while talking to them like a child, so don't do it to teen moms.
A few dos and don'ts:
Do - Offer to help if help is needed.
Don't - Assume that your help will always be wanted.
Do - Give helpful advice if asked.
Don't - Be over generous, offering advice on every baby subject there is.
Do - Believe in the new mom.
Don't - Treat her like a child.
These all may seem like simple things but teen moms are a bit more sensitive to these issues simply because it is automatically assumed that they need someone to do everything for them, or that they can't handle motherhood by themselves. While it may be true that teen moms do need assistance, they need support more than anything. They need to be told that they are believed in, supported and cared for. They don't need someone speaking down to them.
Support comes in more forms than giving advice and offering physical assistance. Just being around to offer a shoulder or to listen when the new mom needs to talk can mean more than anything else. Often times, teen moms don't want the regular course of support so just trying to be available to them still gives them the freedom to ask for help without feeling as if they are being hounded or treated any different.
Another means of support is the kind one can give even if they don't personally know any teen moms. This would include giving used baby clothing or furniture to local teen mother support agencies, clipping coupons and sharing with the new moms through teen mom mailing support groups, and even volunteering your services once in a while to teen mom hotline services.
Every mom needs support but teen moms often need just a little more. They are inexperienced, unsure and just plain scared. With just a little thought and time, new teen moms can become some of the greatest moms raising some of the greatest kids with confidence. A little support goes a long way.
